Why, my love?

I’m here Seth, can you see the smile in my heart? Can you taste my pain? Do you feel the despair running through my blood? My eyes implore you, my voice beckons, my body calls…and yet you look at her.

Why?

I want the laughter we used to share to play in the air. I want your lips to twist in humour as i tease you. I want to make you smile along with me, for i really don’t think I’ll ever smile again, with her by your side.

Why?

My heart still pounds for you. Summersaults, cartwheels, loud drumbeats in the air. My eyes still linger on yours. Goosebumps on my skin when you’re close by. My heart is full of you, my love. But is yours full of her?

Why?

I miss you Seth. I miss your gentleness. I miss the love that washed through my whole being when we were together. I miss so much more than I can ever put together in mere words. I miss you. From the bottom of my heart. From the very core of my being. Do you miss me , I wonder..

It’s lonely without you. There’s no one to make me feel whole. No one to make me smile. No one to hold my hand, when the pain gets bad. No one to love me like you used to.. Do you love her now?

Why?

I made you cry that night at the hospital, long ago. Loud wracking sounds that tore at my soul. Why? Did I hurt you in some way, my love? Why did you leave me behind in that lonely hospital room? We made so many beautiful plans, in there. So many dreams that we’d make come true when i came back home. What happened, Seth?

Why?

Will you leave her like you left me? Do you make her smile like you made me? Does she make you whole, like i used to? Do you hold her hand too?

Why?

Why can’t you see me when i stand right before you? Why do you at times have that haunted look in your eyes? Is something wrong? Why don’t you see me, Seth? Is it because you now have eyes only for her?

Why?

It hurts, Seth. Can you make it go away. Will you hold my hand, one last time?

I don’t understand. Why didn’t you take me home with you? Why did you leave me behind?

Why, my love?

-R